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These days, we are masters at conversation where we do not have to look anyone in the eyes, whether it be over the phone, online, and online meetings.
The impact of this in our communication in marriage is devastating. As a culture, we are losing the ability to see eye to eye and to experience that deeper connection that is the hallmark of a good marriage.
This article tackles 5 easy things you can
do to be a master listener and impact
your marriage in the right ways.
Don't Just Listen, Look
What to do: Let her catch you looking her in her eyes when she is talking to you.
Make it easier: Turn off the TV, put your phone away, and focus entirely on her.
Why It Matters: By eliminating distractions, you show your wife that you are interested in her thoughts, ideas, feelings, and especially in her. This makes her feel valued and respected, enhancing the emotional connection between you.
Lean Toward
What to Do: Maintain eye contact, nod, and use gestures like leaning in slightly to show interest.
Make it Easier: Be genuinely interested in your wife's thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams, and desires. Show happiness that she is opening up to you. This helps you stay engaged and interested without coming off as forced.
Why It Matters: Positive body language signals that you are genuinely engaged in the conversation. This reassures your wife that you are present and attentive, making her feel truly heard and understood.
Pause the Problem-Solving (For Now)
What to Do: When your wife shares her feelings or problems, resist the urge to immediately offer solutions. Instead, look, lean, and let her process her thoughts.
Make it Easier: Focus on understanding her feelings and showing empathy rather than jumping to solutions.
Why It Matters: Pausing the problem-solving shows that you respect her ability to work through her feelings and find her own solutions. It makes her feel supported and understood, rather than managed or directed. This approach validates her experiences and strengthens the emotional bond, as she feels seen and heard without the pressure of immediate problem-solving.
Ask Her Questions
What to Do: Acknowledge and affirm her emotions by saying things like, “I can see why you feel that way,” or “That sounds really tough.”
Make it Easier: Use open-ended questions to encourage her to share more and show that you care about her feelings.
Why It Matters: Validation makes your wife feel acknowledged and supported. When her feelings are recognized, it creates a safe space for her to express herself more freely, strengthening the bond between you.
Leave Your Opinions Out Of It (For Now)
What to Do: Try to understand the emotions behind her words by putting yourself in her shoes. Respond with empathy and compassion.
Make it Easier: Focus on listening to understand, not to respond. Hold off on sharing your opinions until she feels fully heard.
Why It Matters: Empathetic listening shows that you are not just hearing the words but also connecting with the emotions behind them. This helps your wife feel deeply understood and connected to you, fostering a stronger emotional intimacy.
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